Fictional Character battle

[Dr. L]

The above user posts two fictional characters to do battle, and then the next person states who they think would win and why. No immortals please, unless, you're placing two together, then give reasons why one would overcome the immortality of the other.


First fighters:

Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars movie saga, plus comics) vs. Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter series)

[Ythogtha]

Hmmm… this is a tough one. Emperor Palpatine has the force, a lightsaber and the entire imperial army. Lord Voldemort has some wicked ass magic and a sadistic fallowing of insane dark wizards. Both men are evil in the extreme and both have a grip on immortality – Palpatine with his clones and Voldemort with his soul being split up into all those different Horcruxes

Okay, so lets go on the fact that some how Palpatine has destroyed all of the items containing Voldemorts “souls shards” (imperial troops rounded them all up) and some how Voldemort has made it that Palpatine cannot be regenerated in one of his clones (maybe via a spell, who knows). So, this means neither can come back and this is an end all battle.

As much as I think both villains are badasses, I’m going to have to go with Palpatine on this one. Not because I’m a Star Wars fanboy or anything (not even close), but I just can’t see, spells or no spells, Voldemort standing up to a Dark Jedi’s lightsaber skills, I just can’t. Now, if Voldemort is quick enough he may be able to get off the death curse and maybe Palpatine can’t deflect it with a force power, but that’s a big maybe, considering the force allows you to see into the future (which is how the Jedi block those laser bolts) and Palpatine could move like lightning, or even shoot lightning. Of course, Voldemort could create some hellish creature of magic, use the three curses or whip out some other nasty spells, but I still can’t see a wizard taking a lightsaber to the chest and surviving.

So, I’m saying Palpatine survives the dule. He doesn’t “kick ass”, but we’ll say after a thorough battle where both villains kick ass and get their asses kicked, Palpatine comes out the winner after some nasty force powers and skillful lightsaber blows downs the dark wizard. And I'm sure the Sith comes out of it one limb short.

Not sure if I'm suppose to post the next battle, but I will anyway. It's lame, but it's all I could come up with right now:


Robocop or The Terminator (the cyborg itslef, not Arnold)

[Little Bug]

Wait...you are forgetting something. Voldemort has the ability to either a) call the lightsaber to him. b) throw the lightsaber away from Palpatine and himself. or c) destroy the lightsaber with a spell such as incendio. He is a rather evil man so he could also use that spell on Palpatine, he can crawl into Palpatines head and bring back all sorts of haunting memories as he did to Harry in book/movie 5 which doesn't require a wand and might weaken him because my bet is that Palpatine isn't going to know how to throw Valdemort out of his mind very quickly because that doesn't strick me as something they have to practice, even though the Jedi all use mind powers.


Oh and Robocop vs. Terminator.

Robocop is at least part human and is more agile that Terminator. He also has guns to fight from a distance. So I say Robocop. But then it's been FOREVER since I've seen either of them so I might be very wrong.

We will stick to Robocop vs. Terminator because I'm just not sure.

[Ythogtha]

Wait...you are forgetting something. Voldemort has the ability to either a) call the lightsaber to him. b) throw the lightsaber away from Palpatine and himself. or c) destroy the lightsaber with a spell such as incendio. He is a rather evil man so he could also use that spell on Palpatine, he can crawl into Palpatines head and bring back all sorts of haunting memories as he did to Harry in book/movie 5 which doesn't require a wand and might weaken him because my bet is that Palpatine isn't going to know how to throw Valdemort out of his mind very quickly because that doesn't strick me as something they have to practice, even though the Jedi all use mind powers. I also don't think Palpatine would really be haunted by his memories, he seems rather happy being a dark bastard.


Oh and Robocop vs. Terminator.

Robocop is at least part human and is more agile that Terminator. He also has guns to fight from a distance. So I say Robocop. But then it's been FOREVER since I've seen either of them so I might be very wrong.

We will stick to Robocop vs. Terminator because I'm just not sure.

Point about Voldimort, but you must remember a) Palpatine can do the same with Voldimorts wand - or even anything nearby, including Voldimort b) Palpatine can do the same c) he could destroy the lightsaber with a spell, provided it wasn't blocked by Palpatine, who also doesn't need a wand or anything eslse to use the force.

I must give Dr. L credit, it would be an epic fight he set up.

Oh, anyway...

Tough call. I'll say Robocop because he's built like a tank and has a human mind, so he has human intuition to call on in a fight, which could give him a tactical edge to a point. He does have a gun, but it's just an automatic pistol that pops out of his leg and the Terminator could disarm him. And, I'm sure the Terminator would come to the fight armed as well.

I'll just give it to Robocop. He did take several hits from Ed 209, so he is pretty tough.

Okay, Teletubbies vs. The Wiggles, gangland style.

[Grunthos]

Mighty Mouse versus Superman?

[S Carver Orne]

Sorry I'm late!

s4LMxEtsNh8

Also @ Grunthos, Superman would win. Mighty though that mouse may be, he's simply no match for the lone Kryptonian and sole savior of Metropolis.

[Ythogtha]

Wow, I forgot about that YouTube movie. I also forgot about Robocop having the heavy machine gun/rocket launcher arm. Of course, that was in the 3rd film, which out of good taste my subconscious mind has attempted to erase any knowledge I had of its existence.

[Tonus]

Also @ Grunthos, Superman would win. Mighty though that mouse may be, he's simply no match for the lone Kryptonian and sole savior of Metropolis.

Only if MM forgets to wear his kryptonite nipple clips.

[Dr. L]

Superman.

Using the same two series...

Darth Vader vs. Severus Snape. Two classic tragics.

[S Carver Orne]

They're both whiny bitches. But I'm pretty sure Darth Vader could sever his snape.

[Dr. L]

You think? Snape never was that whiny, he just had a crappy life, and loved being a dick of a professor. And he can fly without a broom, which is awesome.

Darth Vader had potential... but he ruined it by having prequels.

[Grunthos]

Also @ Grunthos, Superman would win. Mighty though that mouse may be, he's simply no match for the lone Kryptonian and sole savior of Metropolis.

I'm sorry, but this is an incorrect response.

-AYGlfWjSRY

[Ythogtha]

You think? Snape never was that whiny, he just had a crappy life, and loved being a dick of a professor. And he can fly without a broom, which is awesome.

Darth Vader had potential... but he ruined it by having prequels.

No, not really. Prequels are where things started, not where they end. You can be a whiny bitch at the beginning, but be a murderous S.O.B at the end. But I'll go with Chief on this one. As much as I like Harry Potter (and Snape), Snape never destroyed an entire planet and the billions of people on it to prove a point.

Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster.

[Dr. L]

No, not really. Prequels are where things started, not where they end. You can be a whiny bitch at the beginning, but be a murderous S.O.B at the end. But I'll go with Chief on this one. As much as I like Harry Potter (and Snape), Snape never destroyed an entire planet and the billions of people on it to prove a point.

But he was able to fly without a broom... or a TIE-fighter. And he was played by Alan Rickman.

Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster.

Godzilla. More radioactive breath, less confused crying.

[Ythogtha]

But he was able to fly without a broom... or a TIE-fighter. And he was played by Alan Rickman.



Godzilla. More radioactive breath, less confused crying.

True, Alan Rickman is cool. I think Alan Rickman as Darth Vader would have deffinetly changed Star Wars as a movie. Especially with his voice.


Voltron vs Devistator (the Transformer made up of other transformers)

[S Carver Orne]

Probably the other one. Voltron took like forty years to get assembled. Robot Chicken even mocked that once.

Hannibal Lector vs John "Hannibal" Smith vs Hannibal (Carthage)* vs Dom DeLuise as Animal Cannibal Pizza.

*Granted, Hannibal was a real person, but I refuse to exclude him because of the nature of his name. If it chaps your butt that much, pretend I'm talking about a fictional character based on Hannibal that has his exact story. Then pretend I just punched you in the back of the head.

[Dr. L]

Hannibal Lecter, for sheer cannibalistic might.



Dustin Hoffman's Captain Hook vs. Captain Barbossa (non-immortal)

[Edmaster]

As much as I love Dustin Hoffman as Hook, he's still deathly afraid of any sort of ticking noise. Quite a flaw, if you ask me.

Both captains are well-trained, well-armed, cold-blooded killers, as there are accounts of both captains having shot their own men at least once. Under most circumstances it'll probably come down to who gets off the first shot. If Barbossa has a clock handy and uses it to his advantage, I'll give the edge to Barbossa.

A mid-level Jedi vs. a fully-armed AH-64 Apache Helicopter.

[Dr. L]

A Jedi can block anything except Heli-Death. I am in support of the Apache, that thing's a badass.


Liam Neeson's Bryan Mills(Taken) vs. Pierce Brosnan's James Bond

[Grunthos]

Billy Mays versus Michael Jackson.

[Tonus]

Mills, the movie Taken made pretty clear that this guy's luck is 100% in at all times (except when his kid lies to him or the movie needs to extend the last scene by a couple of seconds).

Helen Thomas, or Yoda?

[Grunthos]

Helen Thomas, or Yoda?

Self-flagellation = nobody wins.

[Dr. L]

Evil Dead's Ash vs. Duke Nukem

[S Carver Orne]

Ash. Hands down.

H. R. Pufnstuf vs Mayor McCheese

[Ythogtha]

Billy Mays versus Michael Jackson.

Since both are dead, and we'll say their zombies, I'll go with Jackson becasue even as one of the walking dead he could move.

I'll also go with Mayor McCheese. I have no idea why, since I've hardly ever watched H.R. Pufnstuf, but having the last name McCheese would really mess with a guy - maybe even push him over the edge.

Thanos (Infinity Crusade) vs Dr. Manhatten (Watchmen)

[S Carver Orne]

I have no idea who those people are, so we'll say they both lose by being gay in an alley somewhere.

Parker Lewis vs Ferris Beuller

[Agent Cay]

I have no idea who those two are, so we'll say they both lose by eating clay in a galley somewhere.

Dr. Hibbert and Dr. Nick vs. Dr. Zoidberg.

[Dr. L]

Dr. Zoidberg for tentacles.


Freaky Quiznos rats vs. Taco Bell Chihuahua

[Straw]

Dr. Zoidberg for tentacles.


Freaky Quiznos rats vs. Taco Bell Chihuahua

Taco Bell Chihuahua because he is more experienced with handling competitor advertising animals. Those rats didn't last a month on the air.

Main Character from Fable vs. Main Character from GTA IV

[Dr. L]

Fable.



Gordon Freeman vs. GTA III main character dude, both only armed with crowbars.

[davidlolol]

Fable.



Gordon Freeman vs. GTA III main character dude, both only armed with crowbars.

Freeman, easily. Have you SEEN what he can do with a crowbar? :ohmy:

Batman or Spiderman

[Luger]

Batman without a doubt

red spy vs blue spy

[Agent Cay]

The blue spy accidentally leads his teammates to kill himself, allowing the red spy to clean house.

Samus Aran vs. Mega Man.

[Carnage]

The blue spy accidentally leads his teammates to kill himself, allowing the red spy to clean house.

Samus Aran vs. Mega Man.

Samus Aran > MegaMan

Samus lives in the real, 3D world while MegaMan is an 8Bit character.

Agent Smith vs Carnage (spiderman character)

[S Carver Orne]

Agent Smith vs Carnage (spiderman character)

I lol'd (literally) for a second. Thought you meant you. :lol:

But probably Smith. He's damn near omnipotent (or supposed to be), but Carnage is pretty badass too. Good combo!

Geico Gecko vs. Aflack Duck.

[Dr. L]

Geico, because even though he's a little guy, his message is heard over the duck's.


Robo-Hitler vs. Zombie-Stalin

[S Carver Orne]

Robo-Hitler.

"Dead or alive du are coming mit mir."

Mr. Spacely vs. Mr. Slate

[Agent Cay]

I have no idea who those people are, so we'll say they both lose by beating hay in a valley somewhere.

The Clown from the Madness series vs. Protagonist Bunny from the Bunnykill series.

[Luger]

Dude, the boss from the jetsons, and the boss from the Flinstones

Also the clown

Bane vs. The Hulk

[Agent Cay]

Dude, the boss from the jetsons, and the boss from the Flinstones

Also the clown

Bane vs. The Hulk
Original Hulk, or Modern Hulk?

Because Modern Hulk would clean house, being the size of one, and Original Hulk... well, he better know a good chiropractor.

Dr. Robotnik vs. Dr. Wily.

[Dr. L]

Robotnik.

G-man from Half-Life series vs. Agent K from Men in Black

[S Carver Orne]

Gordon Freeman. He doesn't need fancy alien weaponry. He'll crowbar him.

Mad Max from Mad Max / The Road Warrior versus Ash from Evil Dead / Army of Darkness

[Luger]

Gordon Freeman. He doesn't need fancy alien weaponry. He'll crowbar him.

Mad Max from Mad Max / The Road Warrior versus Ash from Evil Dead / Army of Darkness

He was talking about G-man..two different people.

And Ash, hes a truckin badass

The Overmind (starcraft) vs Sauron (If you don't know you should feel bad)

[maggotface]

the overmind. sauron may be decked, but he can't do much against a zergling rush.

alex mercer from prototype, or cole mcgrath from infamous.

[Carnage]

the overmind. sauron may be decked, but he can't do much against a zergling rush.

alex mercer from prototype, or cole mcgrath from infamous.

Cole McGrath, Prototype sucked.

Chris Redfield or Leon Kennedy

[S Carver Orne]

Ooh, good one. I say Leon. He kicked ass in RE2.

The Teletubbies versus the Care Bears

[Carnage]

Ooh, good one. I say Leon. He kicked ass in RE2.

The Teletubbies versus the Care Bears

Tubby Custard>Anything

Indiana Jones or James Bond

[Dr. L]

Jones


Mr. Bean vs. Johnny English

[S Carver Orne]

Bean would inadvertently destroy English and save us all.

The guy with the metal teeth versus the guy with the metal hands versus the guy with the metal hat, from James Bond films.

[Luger]

Oddjob FTW

Batdog vs. Elastic Man

[Agent Cay]

Elastic Man.

Seriously. He's up against a dog. How could he possibly lose?

George of the Jungle vs. Tarzan.

[Dr. L]

Tarzan.


Snow Miser vs. Heat Miser

yon2YuXssvo

[Edmaster]

Tarzan.


Snow Miser vs. Heat Miser

yon2YuXssvo

Oh! I know this one! SNOW MISER OF COURSE, because everything he touches "turns to snow in his clutch," while Heat Miser can only make things "start to melt" as in he would lose because he sucks.

Big Boss from MGS3 vs Gordon Freeman from HL2 (Gravity Gun and Patriot included)

[Nepharski]

Big Boss could probably take Freeman by surprise, slit his throat in the middle of a corridor loading screen in gray concrete camo.

Julius Caesar vs. Oda Nobunaga.

Though remember, as seen in fiction, so Julius Caesar gets a second shot to come back from the dead and Oda's only possibly a demon king. They meet on the field of battle, troops heavily equiped.

[sdhonda]

Oda Nobunaga, in an actual fight. Now, army to army...

Gully Foyle vs Ben Reich

[Dr. L]

Ben Reich.



Rocky Balboa vs. King Dedede

[Agent Cay]

King Dedede can fly via floating, wield a massive damn hammer, and create hurricane-suction just by inhaling.

Rocky can punch a lot.

I'm going to go with the king of Dreamland on this one.

Edward Elric vs. Avatar Aang. (Wow, I feel like a geek...)

[Dr. L]

Shorty.



Kefka Palazzo vs. Captain Planet

[Edmaster]

Kefka does more than just looting and polluting.

Trade Federation (Star Wars) vs. SPECTRE (007)

[Dr. L]

As much as I hate an entire army filled with Comic Relief characters, they do have a size-able advantage over SPECTRE. Though SPECTRE has Blofeld, who would run the Trade Federation far more efficiently.

Ultimecia (Final Fantasy VIII) vs. Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII)

Your mileage may vary, but this could be called "Underrated vs. Overrated"

[Dr. L]

Ultimecia, that bitch can compress time.


Resident Evil Zombies vs. Brock Samson.

[Agent Cay]

This depends entirely on how many RE1 Zombies we're talking about.

If it's a smaller number, (say, 10 or 20,) they are so gone I can't even what is this.

If it's a larger number, (say, 100-500) then Brock would still destroy them all, but probably get bitten at least once, meaning they win in the end.

If it's a planet infestation, he would just destroy all zombies in a small radius and build a safehouse. And since we don't know if the RE1 zombies starve to death... stalemate.

Kimiko Ross vs. Artemis Fowl... gah, no one's going to get that.

Let's just say Rudolph vs. Bambi.

[MFD]

Rudolph would blind that bitch and absolutely wreck her. Like no question in the world.

Voltron vs Megazord

[SubtleHurricane]

Rudolph would blind that bitch and absolutely wreck her. Like no question in the world.

Voltron vs Megazord

Megzord because I've never heard of Voltron.

Erin from the Esurance commercials, or Wendy, the mascot of Wendy's?

[MFD]

http://www.beyondhollywood.com/stillsx/2007/08/voltron-movie-giant-lion-robot.jpg

[Dr. L]

Wendy, that soulless stare will assimilate the Esurance person.

Edward Cullen (Twilight) vs. Dracula (Castlevania)

[CyberKing]

Wendy, that soulless stare will assimilate the Esurance person.

Edward Cullen (Twilight) vs. Dracula (Castlevania)

Edward Cullen, obv. :cookieomnomnom:

Hitler vs Churchill, no weapons fists only, final destination.

[Alexinator]

Churchill, just 'cause I think he has more military experience.

Spongebob vs Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

[Edmaster]

Spongebob is soft and absorbent, while Shaggy is a crazy hippy who is probably afraid of water and will probably get killed by one of those "ghosts" he keeps on chasing. Spongebob would win without leaving Bikini Bottom.

Kevin Costner vs. Tom Cruise

EDIT: Just realized these guys aren't fictional. Go with Cay's battle.

[Agent Cay]

Hmm... considering that humans are proportionately giants to Spongebob, and Bob himself suffocates out of water, this contest seems over before it begins.

Tossing realism factors out the window, even if SpongePants was the size of a human and able to beathe outside the ocean, he'd still not be able to beat Shaggy because he'd just chase him for two minutes before Shaggy jumps into some creepy cosplay outfit and stalls him as some on-the-fly mechanism is devised to tie Bob up and reveal him as Old Man Jenkins.

Ein (Cowboy Bebop) vs. Brian (Family Guy).

[Dr. L]

Ein, hands down.


Samus (Metroid) vs. Master Chief (Halo) (I'm a fan of neither, but it's a cool matchup nonetheless)

[Agent Cay]

Samus. See Haloid for further details.

Bomberman vs. Fat Man (MGS2)

[Dr. L]

Fat Man, Bomberman's been in the barrel lately.

Baron Samedi (Live and Let Die, Goldeneye 007) vs. The Cat in the Hat

[Dragonwarrior]

I say cat in the hat, he can do all kinds of wacky stuff, baron samedi was defeated by being pushed into a coffin full of snakes...kind of.

Michael myers Vs Jason Voorhees

[Agent Cay]

Jason was torn in half, impaled on a hook, sent to hell, and STILL didn't die. Michael, from what I can read on Wikipedia, does not have an inch of that kind of stamina.

The team from "Inception" vs. Freddy Krueger.

[Vril]

Assuming that they are not involved in any strong drug induced, multi-layer sleep, and that dying to his razors in their dream actually causes death in real life, I'd say Freddy. That is unless they were to make and know the map, giving them a great advantage. In just regular dreamworld, Freddy would wreck their shit.

Batman vs. Boba Fett

[Dr. L]

That's a tough one. Taking luck and the 'good guy' winning out of the scenario, it makes it more even, in which case I believe Boba Fett would take the advantage first round, but Batman would narrowly escape and come back more prepared, in which case after an intense fight, I think Batman would be taken out by a well-times seeker. But it could still swing either way, it'd be a cool fight to set up.


The White Queen and her Army (Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) vs. Lady Sylvanas and the Forsaken (World of Warcraft)

[MFD]

Forsaken I'm sorry that would be some serious demolition.

Bilbo Baggins vs Regis (Forgotten Realms)

[SubtleHurricane]

Forsaken I'm sorry that would be some serious demolition.

Bilbo Baggins vs Regis (Forgotten Realms)

Bilbo, because he's the shit. Hobbit movie cannot come soon enough.
Ein, hands down.


Samus (Metroid) vs. Master Chief (Halo) (I'm a fan of neither, but it's a cool matchup nonetheless)

Depends on if Samus got stripped of all of her powerups for the 100th time recently or not, really.

Aquaman vs. King Triton from the Little Mermaid

This one, not the gay one
http://i54.tinypic.com/2mwi1zd.jpg

[Dr. L]

Hah, Seaman. I'd have to go with Triton for sheer badassery.


Master Pain/Betty (Kung Pow) vs. The Prince of Persia

[Vril]

I'd have to say Betty. Paralyzer would take Prince down; no tongue powers.

Mr. Dressup vs. Mr. Rogers

[CyberKing]

You can't beat Mr. Rogers, he had more than sweaters in that closet.

Deadpool vs. The Spy from TF2

[Da Big W]

You can't beat Mr. Rogers, he had more than sweaters in that closet.

Deadpool vs. The Spy from TF2

Deadpool because he can break the 4th wall :cookieomnomnom:

[JägerMeister]

Ash Ketchum vs Gary Oak

[SubtleHurricane]

Ash Ketchum vs Gary Oak

I don't know who this Gary character is. If you're referring to "Ass", then I always bested him on pokemon blue, so I'll go with Ash.

Left 4 Dead zombies vs. I am Legend monsters

[Agent Cay]

However strong those I am Legend monsters might be against the L4D2 zombies, they are NOT stronger than the special infected.

Army of Blue Mages from FF vs. one of every Pokemon.

[Da Big W]

one of every pokemon, because of the legendaries lol, did you see mewtwo in the movies?

John McClane vs. The Terminator

[CyberKing]

I'm pretty sure The Terminator would win. John McClane is used to fighting humans, whereas when The Terminator was destroyed by humans it was a human who was used to fighting Terminators.

Wesker vs. Captain America (saw it last night in a MvC 3 trailer)

[Dragonwarrior]

cZ7LGIxvST0

When did Wesker become this badass? I mean...I know he was a badass in RE1 but this is just insane.

[Agent Cay]

So I guess that answers that then.

The Ing from Metroid Prime 2: Echoes vs. the X from Metroid Fusion.

[Dr. L]

The X

Christopher Lee's Dracula vs. Gary Oldman's Dracula

[Dragonwarrior]

I'm gona go with Christopher Lee's Dracula.

1 Dunpeal VS 1 Lycan

[Dr. L]

Prolly the Dunpeal, considering they tend to always be on the winning side of things, save one or two.

Pennywise the Clown (Steven King's It) vs. Silent Hill (As a collective, weirdo entity)

[JägerMeister]

Prolly the Dunpeal, considering they tend to always be on the winning side of things, save one or two.

Pennywise the Clown (Steven King's It) vs. Silent Hill (As a collective, weirdo entity)

Hmm. Gonna go with Pennywise.

Hank Hill vs Homer Simpson

[Dr. L]

Hank Hill, methinks


Queen Alien/Empress (Alien vs. Predator movie) vs. the Skedar King (Perfect Dark)

[Purity]

I'd say Queen, only because I cannot remember Skedar from Perfect Dark. Feel free to elaborate on Dr. L's scenario

[Dr. L]

I will :3

The Alien Queen is a walking onslaught of killing, tall, and loaded with natural weapons and strong defenses. The Skedar King, though not quite as equipped, is technologically advanced and uses explosive weaponry and a shield powered by religion.

It's a pretty fair fight, the queen has to dodge the reasonably-sped(Not fast, not slow) rockets and get past his shield defenses. On her side, she is intelligent, and may figure out he gets energy for his shield from the idol he worships, and the Queen is a very quick thinker, and has the punch to back it. Her flexibility and dodging capabilities would be handy.

I'm leaning more towards the queen, because the King managed to underestimate a quick thinking squishy human, and he'd likely underestimate the intelligence of a snarling alien queen to his folly. However, if he used charged maulers or a Reaper(hell, he could prolly hold two) rather than the Slayer rocket, he'd probably have a better chance. The rockets may be deadly, but they're kinda' slow. But he seems to like his Slayer. Either way, it'd be an even match.

The next party may decide

[Agent Cay]

The Question vs. Marmaduke vs. Inspector Gadget vs. the Care Bears vs. Mr. Smee vs. Big Bird vs. Pink Panther vs. Squidward vs. Sakura (pre-Shipuuden) vs. Neville Longbottom (first year).

And the answer absolutely cannot be "who the hell cares?" or any variation of such.

[Dr. L]

Squidward Tentacles.

Mewtwo (Pokemon Anime) vs. Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid)

[Agent Cay]

You just chose one at random, didn't you...

Depends on if it's anime Mewtwo (hell yes) or SSBM Mewtwo (probably not).

...I can't pick the next one, honestly. I'm out of ideas atm. The only thing I can think of is something really, REALLY stupid like The Major from Hellsing vs. a bonfire.

[Dr. L]

I picked Squidward because I always pictured him being the Kraaken in reality.

And I picture the Major giving a big speech about some metaphor dealing with the wonders of war, then tossing water onto the fire to the cheers of the Vampire Reich.


Freakazoid vs. Earthworm Jim

[S Carver Orne]

Freakazoid. He's too goofy; I can't see him getting hit by Earthworm Jim's bullets. His headwhip thing would make for laughs. Plus, Earthworm Jim has died many a time in games. I've never seen Freakazoid die.

Conan (the Barbarian) versus Kratos (God of War series)


addendum: Freakazoid may have died before, but only about the time he was facing Candlejack. If it was p.....

[Edmaster]

As badass as Conan is, Kratos is pretty much a demi-god at this point, with the power of the gods at his fingertips, err blades.

A fully-equipped Warhammer 20k Space Marine vs. a fully-equipped soldier from Gears of War (NOT Marcus).

[Dr. L]

Space Marines, after having it drilled into my head about their awesomeness by their fans.


Sauron (Lord of the Rings) vs. Skorne (Gauntlet Legends/Dark Legacy)

[Dr. L]

Sauron. Though Skorne's pretty powerful, he's just not as smart as Sauron.



Ultimecia (Final Fantasy VIII) vs. Satan (Star Ocean: The Last Hope)

[Agent Cay]

Satan wins because of a better understanding of how to manipulate people to his cause.

Axe Cop (http://axecop.com/index.php/achome/index/) vs. Problem Sleuth (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=4)

[Dr. L]

(Wrong Satan, but that'll do)

And certainly Axe cop, he's hella cool.



Gremlins vs. Critters

[Agent Cay]

(1. This thread was about to either get a triple-post or go into necro mode, 2. I've never played those games anyway, and 3. You really wanna talk Mr. Squidward-is-the-Kraken?)

I'm gonna go with Critters on this one. The Gremlins seem to just want to have reckless fun, which is bad and a nuisance, but the Critters just want to EAT, which makes them a great deal more lethal. One could argue that the Gremlins are more intelligent than the Critters, but that only really pays off if they have some sort of organized authority... which I doubt. Maybe that super-intelligent one could do something but the rest of them would just be nuisances.

Bleeding Gums Murphy vs. oncoming highway traffic from Frogger.

[Dr. L]

(Huh? What'd I do? D: )

The traffic. It's taken too many lives, none can escape its fate. Perhaps that's how Murphy passed away in the first place.


Lex Luthor vs. the Joker

[Agent Cay]

Man-to-man fighting, I'm gonna say Lex Luthor by a hair. Joker's sneaky, but Lex spends his days trying to figure out how to beat what many people consider to be a god, he'd be ready for a nihilistic freak.

Organization-to-organization, Joker recruits a bunch of thugs and starts spreading influence within Metropolis, Lex finishes his space weapon of super destruction, then destroys the entire city Joker's in with a nuke or something. He's got the money and the mindset to do it.

Team Rocket vs. Banjo & Kazooie.

[Dr. L]

The Team Rocket Trio would likely lose, since Banjo & Kazooie are good guys. Any other villain Team Rocket would win against out of sheer dumb luck. The Team Rocket organization though, and B&K would lose against Giovanni's badassery.

GLaDOS vs. HAL 9000

[Agent Cay]

GLADOS. HAL controls a spaceship, GLADOS controls a test facility. This means that GLADOS controls entire assembly lines of volatile testing equipment, while HAL controls pod-bay doors.

Rat Man (Portal) vs. Moe Sizlack (Simpsons).

[Dr. L]

That one is admittedly tough. Though probably Rat man, for surviving GLaDOS.

Thor(Marvel) vs. Magneto (Marvel)

[Agent Cay]

Magneto would be able to re-direct Thor's lightning via metal mumbo jumbo, but I don't know if Magneto could actually kill a god. I guess it comes down to whether or not he can magnetize that hammer... I'm guessing no, which would mean that once Thor closes the distance he would break Magneto's old man face like a dry cracker.

Mother Brain (Metroid) vs Mother Brain (Chrono Trigger)

[Dr. L]

Mother Brain from Chrono Trigger was impressive in her feats, effectively ruling the world due to Lavos being unable to feed from her lifeless roboticness. Yet the resources and raw power, in the end, of Mother brain I think would overall win out.

The Undertaker (His character from the WWE complete with his powers) vs. Shang Tsung (Mortal Kombat)

[Dr. L]

Prolly The Undertaker.

Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) vs. Captain Hook (Jason Isaacs)

[Agent Cay]

Jason Isaacs is more intimidating. He doesn't adopt kids- he eats them.

The Iron Giant vs. Godzilla vs. Optimus Prime with his team.

[Dr. L]

Hm, I love Godzilla, but even with his Gozilla-moding Optimus Prime alone could take them both.


Maleficent vs. Voldemort

[Agent Cay]

Maleficent has an army? Voldemort has a wizard army.
Maleficent can turn into a dragon? Voldemort has a snake that can kill people just by looking at them.
Maleficent can control a couple of flames? Voldemort can control people's minds.

Maleficent can never be as cool as Voldemort because Voldemort cheats death and Maleficent takes one little sword to the gut- as a freakin' DRAGON- and is insta-killed.

Sigma (Megaman X) vs. the Matrix machines

[Dr. L]

Sigma seems pretty kickass, I'll go with him.

Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Malgus