Thought of the Day

[Ythogtha]

In honor of Fathers Day:

A father carries pictures where his money use to be.

and

Raising kids will make you loose your mind, but you'll find your soul.


Okay, so that's two thaughts.

[Ythogtha]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, then a prefrontal lobotomy.

[Demented]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.... unless you're in the porn industry

[Ythogtha]

Don't knock masturbation, it's safe sex with someone you love.

[TheDudeOfOz]

If you make a remix to a remix, it becomes an entirely new song.

[Demented]

The older I get the more hair I have coming out of my ears and nose, and the less I have on my head

[Little Bug]

The longer you stay in a place you don't like, the more you come to loath both it and the people in it.

[Demented]

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a happy ending

[Ythogtha]

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an asshole.

[Grunthos]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

[Ythogtha]

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

[Grunthos]

"If being a man is too much for Obama, could he at least aim for butch lesbian?"

[Ythogtha]

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

[S Carver Orne]

When in doubt, use brute force.

[Ythogtha]

No matter how strong the body, it is useless without the mind.

[Grunthos]

Inside every small problem, is a larger problem struggling to make itself felt.

[Ythogtha]

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for later in life.

[Grunthos]

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two, is never sure.

[Ythogtha]

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

[Grunthos]

Character is what you do in the dark. With the neighbor's wife. In Argentina.

[Ythogtha]

Never trust politics. Its made up of two words: "Poli", which means many and "Tics", which are blood suckers.

[Ythogtha]

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

[S Carver Orne]

Irony is driving a hundred miles an hour only to crash into the back of a tow truck.

[Grunthos]

An honest man doesn't tie his shoelaces in his neighbor's melon patch.

[S Carver Orne]

Irony is driving a hundred miles an hour only to crash into the back of a tow truck.

In addendum, irony is also crashing into a junk yard. :lol:

[Ythogtha]

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

[davidlolol]

In addendum, irony is also crashing into a junk yard. :lol:

Or driving really fast into a junk yard, crashing into a wrecked car, getting flung through the windscreen, flying over the junk yard fence into the cemetery beside it and landing in a freshly dug grave. :ohmy:

[Dr. L]

He who goes to bed with an itchy butt, wakes up with a stinky finger!

[S Carver Orne]

How long can BCK go without changing a noticeable spelling error in a thread title? About 24 days, it would seem.

[Ythogtha]

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

[Grunthos]

Or driving really fast into a junk yard, crashing into a wrecked car, getting flung through the windscreen, flying over the junk yard fence into the cemetery beside it and landing in a freshly dug grave. :ohmy:

...and surviving...

[Ythogtha]

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions

[Ythogtha]

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.

[S Carver Orne]

I can, in fact, believe it's not butter.

[Carnage]

Rolling backwards into a corner while being chased by someone revving their chainsaw isn't always the best option. (Gears 2)

[Agent Cay]

A man who walks a path with his head down will only see the dirt on his way through life, but a man who walks while gazing at the sky will surely trip himself up. The best choice a man can make is to keep his head level- observing not just sky or dirt, but an equal amount of both.

[Ythogtha]

Tolerance is a great trait to contain, but so is the ability to shut up.

[Ythogtha]

Every family has a financial leech, that bum that barrows money off of everyone. And if you don’t think so, it’s YOU.

[Ythogtha]

A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely.

[Grunthos]

Fridays are the best monday of the week.

[S Carver Orne]

The tooth fairy doesn't exist. Santa Claus doesn't exist. The Easter Bunny doesn't exist. We tell children they do. What if they do? What if we don't?

[Grunthos]

If I didn't exist, it'd be necessary to invent myself.

[S Carver Orne]

Do not fart in the shower. This would mean certain death.

[Carnage]

Do not fart in the shower. This would mean certain death.
:lol:

When you hear the sound of a chainsaw, it does not always mean you are being chased down in Gears.

[Grunthos]

You can tell how fat a cat is, based solely on the length of its whiskers

[Ythogtha]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

[S Carver Orne]

Ever notice how much faqs looks like fags? That's because only fags have to ask.

[Grunthos]

One ounce of polyester resin will require 15 drops of catalyst to properly harden sections of 1/16th inch thickness or less.

[S Carver Orne]

I got five stars on Guitar Hero singing Alhazrad's rhyming couplet from the Necronomicon. While this makes me a winner, everyone loses in the end.

[Ythogtha]

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

[Ythogtha]

If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.

[Tonus]

If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
You're obviously not from the tropics. :)

[S Carver Orne]

If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
You're obviously not from the tropics. :)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v368/profmgmiller/giant-mosquito-bites-riesenmoskito-.jpg

[S Carver Orne]

Justice means rightfulness or lawfulness; the moral principle determining just conduct. Justice sounds an awful lot like 'Just us', which implies those who are in power. Which in turn implies that justice is not only in the eye of the beholder, but that it also applies to and protects those in power.

[Grunthos]

Justice is a blindfolded woman with a sword. It's best to avoid screwing with her if possible.

[Tonus]

Justice is a blindfolded woman with a sword. It's best to avoid screwing with her if possible.
Especially if she doesn't drop the sword beforehand.

[Ythogtha]

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

[Tonus]

There must be no greater disappointment than that felt by a defendant as he looks to the jury box and recognizes that this is a group of his peers. Well, there is one greater disappointment-- the recognition in the faces of the jury as they look upon the defendant and arrive at the same conclusion.

[Grunthos]

The law is an ass... and we all know what comes out of asses.

[S Carver Orne]

Doodie!

[Ythogtha]

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
- David Dinkins

[S Carver Orne]

The spoon and fork are both useful instruments in their own right. So why is the spork not more prevalent?

[Ythogtha]

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

[Grunthos]

Best proof of God: Circumcision. Who would have ever thought to try that without a direct command from an all powerful being?

[Ythogtha]

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

[Grunthos]

Death is for the rest of you; it'll never claim me.

[S Carver Orne]

Do an impression of Richard Nixon. Now lower the octave once or twice. Sounds like the voice from Saw. Which means, inevitably, Richard Nixon will kill us all.

[Ythogtha]

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

[S Carver Orne]

We've all heard about the buttered toast and cat high-speed transit theory. But honestly, wouldn't we just get butter and cat piss everywhere?

[Grunthos]

So, you're saying it'd smell just like every other mass-transit system?

[Ythogtha]

You'll know you’re doing a good job when the opposition hates you the most.

[Ythogtha]

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

[S Carver Orne]

What if what we know as reality isn't reality at all. What if it's the product of a diseased extra-existentialist mind?

[Ythogtha]

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

[Ythogtha]

After four hours sex really just becomes push ups.

[Dr. L]

...or sometimes the one-armed hang.

[S Carver Orne]

Playing WWE Legends, I fought with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. It was a tough match, ending up with us going blow for blow. Punches just didn't seem to affect him. I should have known that. I've seen They Live.

[Ythogtha]

Eventually there is no difference between an alcoholic and a pickled zombie.

[Ythogtha]

If you want to upset someone, talk badly about their mother. If you want to get into a fight with someone, disagree with them on religion or politics.

[S Carver Orne]

If Al Gore never existed, would we still have the internet? I'm pretty sure we would.

[DDjerk]

We (men) never seem to understand just how little we really know about women until the person you love is out of reach.

[S Carver Orne]

We (men) never seem to understand just how little we really know about women until the person you love is out of reach.

/hugs :)

[Ythogtha]

gay

[Tonus]

gay
You forgot the preceding slash.

[Ythogtha]

You forgot the preceding slash.

Oh, sorry.

/gay

[Ythogtha]

If you can never manage to be happy with where you are at, you will never be happy wherever you go.

[Ythogtha]

What is popular is not always right, what is right is not always popular.

[Little Bug]

75% of this town are alcoholics. 50% of this town are drug users. 60% of this town are illiterate. 98% of this town are just plain idiots that get 100% more welfare than they deserve and STILL steal.

Please note...98% of the people that live in this town were born here.

*all percentages...except illiterates is estimated.

[Tonus]

I don't have a thought of the day because meetings are currently draining my soul, and I've still got about five or six hours of meetings to go. That's assuming that neither one runs longer than scheduled...

[S Carver Orne]

Reminded me of someone in govt.

Metallica - Leper Messiah

Spineless from the start, sucked into the part
circus comes to town, you play the lead clown
Please, please
spreading his disease, living by his story
Knees, knees
falling to your knees, suffer for his glory
You will You will You will You will

Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat
Bow to Leper Messiah

Marvel at his tricks, need your Sunday fix
blind devotion came, rotting your brain
chain chain
Join the endless chain
Taken by this leper

Fame, Fame
Infection is the game, stinking drunk with power
We see We see We see We see

Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat
Bow to Leper Messiah

Bow to Leper Messiah

Witchery, weakening
sees the sheep are gathering
set the trap, hypnotize
now you follow

Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat

Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lieeeeeeeeeee

[Valderack]

If a man was with his wife, and oggled his wife from the future, would his present-day wife get mad?

[Dr. L]

Why did the Romans go and tear down the pyramid of Djedefre? It was way cooler than they were.

[S Carver Orne]

I dunno. The Romans were pretty boss.

[Dr. L]

Romans were silly and wore ridiculous dresses.

[Tonus]

http://todaysfacilitymanager.com/facilityblog/wp-content/uploads/belushi-sideways1.jpg

[Dr. L]

I have a gweat fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus!

[Grunthos]

Awd hif wife, Incontinentia Buttocks.

[Agent Cay]

Fun fact: If you look very closely at the centurion on the right when you see him mention "He has a wife you know," you can see him mouth the words "Oh no..." Because they didn't know what this skit was going into it, they were just given strict orders to NOT LAUGH.

[Dr. L]

I remember that, learned it on TVtropes. I hadn't thought that scene could get anymore hillarious, and it was doubly so when I learned that.

[Little Bug]

A great day starts with a walk in the brisk cold and then a couple of cups of coffee while sitting at the computer listening to Kutless radio on Lastfm.

[Dr. L]

We've got a nice big storm comin'. I wish it was just snow, but they're saying it's Ice Armageddon again.

[Reserv*ir]

We've got a nice big storm comin'. I wish it was just snow, but they're saying it's Ice Armageddon again.

I want it all!
Last "major" storm (that they were really worried about) here in Cleveland didn't amount to much (though the one before was pretty sweet).
I still need proof that Cleveland gets decent Lake Effect snow (that should amount to more than I get at home, but hasn't last winter and this one as far as I can tell).

[Dr. L]

I Love snow, Ice just makes driving complicated =P. Otherwise, I enjoy all aspects of snow, including to some extent shoveling it.

[Tonus]

Last "major" storm (that they were really worried about) here in Cleveland didn't amount to much
Oh, I dunno about that...
http://turbo.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2010/07/lebron-james.jpg

[ABC]

We've got a nice big storm comin'. I wish it was just snow, but they're saying it's Ice Armageddon again.

I am hoping for ice so that I don't have school (we're already out of snow days so ice makes calling it off more probable). Who's idea was it to take Ohio's (and other states'?) snow day count down to 3? That's just absurd.

Edit: Also, Tonus, your post is awesome.

[Reserv*ir]

Oh, I dunno about that...
http://turbo.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2010/07/lebron-james.jpg

Wrong one, and please don't open up that old wound... I've done just enough to ignore that issue so I'd stop making myself angry when I see people (or him) insult Cleveland when the issue is brought up.

Yes, I am aware I shouldn't put so much into The Decision, but as a sports fan (and student trying to make the best of Cleveland), I could tell it was purely devastating to the city.

[Little Bug]

I Love...to some extent shoveling it.
You are one of the oddest people ever. What is wrong with your head that you enjoy shoveling snow???

[Dr. L]

You are one of the oddest people ever. What is wrong with your head that you enjoy shoveling snow???

Idunno, I've always been a winter guy. Psychology 101 says that Summer is uplifting where Winter is depressing, but I've always been more fond of Winter and the various things that come with it, like snow and the shoveling of it.

[Little Bug]

Dr. L is an odd ball!!!

[Purity]

shouldn't have procrastinated homework until 1am last night, will be longest friday evar

[Grunthos]

Why is traffic light going to work friday morning, but heavy going back the same way friday night?

[Little Bug]

6am is WAY to early to be up on a Saturday. Gotta get my car on the road so I don't have to get to work 15 minutes before the door is even opened on Saturdays.

[Grunthos]

Weatherpeople cannot be relied upon.

[Little Bug]

Weatherpeople cannot be relied upon.

WHERE IS MY LIKE BUTTON???

[Tonus]

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4052/4577291265_15ff346299.jpg

[Little Bug]

lol. *snag*

[Tonus]

How awesome is it when a congressman who writes his own real-life personal horror story is named Christopher Lee (http://gawker.com/#!5755071/married-gop-congressman-sent-sexy-pictures-to-craigslist-babe)?

[Little Bug]

We are ALL Stanley's!

[Dr. L]

Looting of antiquities continues unopposed here in Abydos. Everyday I walk across the desert plain to my land beyond and every day I see evidence of illegal digging. The remains of mummies now litter the plain. 3/4 days ago 10 armed raiders entered the American mission house in Abydos and looted it. Police were frightened off by gun fire from the raiders. What the looters made off with is unknown and it is also unknown whether they gain access to the newly built restoration/storage rooms.

... Those Assholes.

[Grunthos]

Police were frightened off by gun fire from the raiders.

/facepalm

[Nyarlathotep]

Sucks that stmb robbing by locals has been going on for a long time, much as the Amazon rain forest is clear cut. The areas are desperately poor.

Good news it has diminished in recent years:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19585643/ns/technology_and_science-science/ (from 2007, number at the end of the article remains astounding)

[Little Bug]

Bath time for puppy means second bath/shower for the bather.

[Grunthos]

That's why we wash our cats in the shower, LB...

[CyberKing]

I put shampoo on the dog and throw it in the pool and let it swim for half an hour.

[Grunthos]

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

[davidlolol]

Thought for today: Need more eggs in minecraft. MOAR CAKE.

[Grunthos]

Moose.

All I got.

[CyberKing]

Driving on the expressway down to Detroit is like driving in a fucking Nascar race.

[Purity]

Hypocrite is my most hated word.

[Aaron]

18. yay.

[Grunthos]

Happy majority. You are now totally at blame for everything you do. Congratulations!