The Daily Rant

[Ythogtha]

Okay, so sometimes you have a bad day, sometimes the world has just served you a big bowl of WTF! Why come to the forum angry? Dump those bad feelings, and in BCK’s instance the desire to pummel others, here. Bitch till your hearts content about anything you damn well feel like. Go on, it’s therapeutic, even more so when laced with needless swear words. But, before you dump your anger fueled baggage a few guidelines:

1.Never use anyone’s real name, not even their first name. After all, people aren’t stupid and even though most of our present forum members know each other, this will not always be the case. Leave out Mr. McJerk’s name, the a-hole in the cubical next to you at work, who ticks you off each day when he takes your stapler. For all you know he’s a café member. That way, Mr. McJerk doesn’t read your post, puts two-and-two together, figures out its you posting that he’s an a-hole, and then introduces you to his buddy, Mr. McFisty at lunch. No names.

2.If you have any issues with someone on this forum do not post it here. Such situations should be brought to the attention of our moderators or to the head honcho of the forum, Big Chief Knockemboots, who will handle such situations.

Thank you, and enjoy your bitching.

[Carnage]

I hate how when I applied for a newspaper route 2 years ago, they finally decide to call me up today. I was excited about it, an actual sort of income. It was even the complex next to me. Unfortunately we have to move one week after I would get the job. Luckily where we're moving is only 5 minutes away from the route. But when I told the person that I was moving, they said "that's too far, sorry, goodbye." and hung up. Fuck you Oshawa this Week.

[S Carver Orne]

in BCK’s instance the desire to pummel others
If you have any issues with someone on this forum do not post it here. Such situations should be brought to the attention of our moderators or to the head honcho of the forum, Big Chief Knockemboots, who will handle such situations.

Are we seeing a pattern here? :lol:

In seriousness, the report post button is your friend. It might even make you a sweater for Christmas. Use it if you need it.

On-topic, I hate stupid little shits on Call of Duty 4 and Gears of War 2 who rely entirely upon exploits to play the game. It ruins the experience for everyone. Especially me.

[Ythogtha]

When my wife and my son and I went to see The Half Blood Prince (which was a good movie) everything was fine and good, until a lady came over to us after she noticed we were getting in the car and informed me that someone had smashed into the passenger side of my car, and then drove off. Now, my son sits in the back driver’s side because he’s growing and I’m too tall for him to sit behind anymore, so I didn’t see the damage. But, I sure’s hell did when I walked around and checked it out. Huge dent in the side of my car! WTF! What kind of fuck nut smashes into someone’s car and drives the hell away!?

Luckily for me, the lady was kind enough to write the douche bag’s license number down. I called the mall security – who took pictures – then called my insurance to inform them of what happened, then the cops since it was a hit and run. So, I have two filed reports and the cops know where the little prick lives. So, now all I have to do is wait and hope that he has insurance and the car wasn’t stolen.

Of course, it gets better…

The wife called the insurance company again to inform them we had the security report and a copy of the pictures, which the insurance company then informs us that unless the guy is caught they won’t pay. For anything. Because they don’t do that.

:poof:

Needless to say I’m sure this will be a continuing chapter on the Daily Rant.:burningmad:

[S Carver Orne]

Give me an address, and a Mossberg 590. :D

[Ythogtha]

Give me an address, and a Mossberg 590. :D

All I've got is a baseball bat and a plastic ninja sword.

[Luger]

All I've got is a baseball bat and a plastic ninja sword.

All you'll need

[Ythogtha]

All you'll need

True, vary true.

[maggotface]

a few months back when school was still on, i wore sandals to school. realizing i had gym and i was one unprepared away from having to do a gym makeup at 6 in the morning, figuring it would be less annoying than that, i went back home on my off period and picked up my shoes. on my way back, a cop pulled me over and gave me a ticket for rolling thru a stop sign. the ticket was 160 bucks. for passing through a stop sign.

oh, and when gym came around, my teacher was absent and we didnt do anything.

[Vernon Flyer]

Mr. Fucking Asshole comes in to work, asks me to make him a burger with everything on it, and at the end he's like "A little bit of mayo", so I put a small amount on. But to him, it was a huge amount and fucking yells at me "Does that look like a little bit of mayo to you?"

First off, the fucking mayo bottles (Because mayo is thick and ketchup isn't) have wider nozzles so it can squirt more out, so it's not like I can have amazing portion control on those fucking bitches. I have to throw out his ENTIRE fucking burger because the fucking dick didn't have the foresight to either not order the thing he wants the least of, or to ask me to put it on first. So I had to squirt some into a little plastic thingy, use a knife to spread the smallest sliver on his damned burger. And then I have to toss his fucking salad as he leaves the door "I'm so sorry sir, I apologize for ruining the burger, here you are, have a wonderful night :)"

I wanted to jack off on his burger

[S Carver Orne]

Give me an address, and a Remington 870. :D

[maggotface]

Mr. Fucking Asshole comes in to work, asks me to make him a burger with everything on it, and at the end he's like "A little bit of mayo", so I put a small amount on. But to him, it was a huge amount and fucking yells at me "Does that look like a little bit of mayo to you?"

First off, the fucking mayo bottles (Because mayo is thick and ketchup isn't) have wider nozzles so it can squirt more out, so it's not like I can have amazing portion control on those fucking bitches. I have to throw out his ENTIRE fucking burger because the fucking dick didn't have the foresight to either not order the thing he wants the least of, or to ask me to put it on first. So I had to squirt some into a little plastic thingy, use a knife to spread the smallest sliver on his damned burger. And then I have to toss his fucking salad as he leaves the door "I'm so sorry sir, I apologize for ruining the burger, here you are, have a wonderful night :)"

I wanted to jack off on his burger
the place i work at is like KFC, except better since it's a family owned joint. and we make homemade pies. Now, if you have ever made a pie before, you'll notice that it cracks. i remember once at work a lady asked for a pie, i was like "sure thing" and i put a pie in the box. now, she takes the pie and goes to the register. we were really busy that night, but she comes up to me again and says "the pie looks bad, can i have another one?" i was busy helping a customer, but getting a new one takes one second, so i was like "sure" and put a new one in. she goes "that one also looks bad".
we go through about 7 other pies when she finally leaves.
i go back to the person i was serving and he said "if i were you i would have thrown the pie in her face"

[S Carver Orne]

I can't get my fucking microphone drivers to work properly. So now I'm stuck listening in LOTRO and can't talk, which makes it a pain in the fucking ass. I'm having post traumatic stress disorder flashbacks from Diablo II when I have to type to people ala the Enter key.

[Grunthos]

Why the hell isn't the day 34 hours long like it used to be? Who screwed that one up?

[Edmaster]

I hate people who aren't man enough to apologize when they cross the line. It really makes it easier to deal with if the person can swallow their pride for just a few seconds to let you know that they realize what a dick they were.

[Ythogtha]

When my wife and my son and I went to see The Half Blood Prince (which was a good movie) everything was fine and good, until a lady came over to us after she noticed we were getting in the car and informed me that someone had smashed into the passenger side of my car, and then drove off. Now, my son sits in the back driver’s side because he’s growing and I’m too tall for him to sit behind anymore, so I didn’t see the damage. But, I sure’s hell did when I walked around and checked it out. Huge dent in the side of my car! WTF! What kind of fuck nut smashes into someone’s car and drives the hell away!?

Luckily for me, the lady was kind enough to write the douche bag’s license number down. I called the mall security – who took pictures – then called my insurance to inform them of what happened, then the cops since it was a hit and run. So, I have two filed reports and the cops know where the little prick lives. So, now all I have to do is wait and hope that he has insurance and the car wasn’t stolen.

Of course, it gets better…

The wife called the insurance company again to inform them we had the security report and a copy of the pictures, which the insurance company then informs us that unless the guy is caught they won’t pay. For anything. Because they don’t do that.

:poof:

Needless to say I’m sure this will be a continuing chapter on the Daily Rant.:burningmad:

Police caught the guy that hit my car and then left. He's 17 and even admitted to me (his number was on the report the police faxed me... Along with his address...) that he left because he didn't think anyone had seen him. Now he wants to "work it out" and not through the insurance. Unfortunately I do not have the cash to pay for the car out of pocket and hope a 17 kid, who was irresponsible in the first place (nothing against our 17 year old members who are responsible) to pay me back. Sorry buck-o, the insurance is handling it. It's not my fault you'll have a hit and run on your record, it's yours.

[S Carver Orne]

Simple fuck.

I need sleep. I am exhausted. The doctor gave me medicine that prevents me from sleeping as a side effect. I haven't slept much in weeks. I think I'm dying...

[Dr. L]

So, I was going to visit my Grandmother today with my parents and Uncle. My grandma and I were really close when I was a kid, but she has dementia/Alzheimers now, and unfortunately cannot remember a thing about it (But she DOES remember that it Black people weren't allowed in certain stores, which makes for some humorous stories). I like visiting her when we can, since she lives several hours away, and we can't get there that often. But, instead of going this morning, I woke up with a nasty back pain like a twisted bone or muscle or something. Whatever it is, it doesn't feel nice. So I was unable to go, and unable to listen to my badass Special Ops Uncle's ways of doing things in his prime, things that would piss off any bleeding heart(Who would be bleeding more if it wasn't for people like him, protecting the United States Citizens abroad in ways they will never know).

So, I'm stuck with a backache and a day with my grandmother and uncle missed. :(

[Grunthos]

It's really hot here.

[Ythogtha]

Simple fuck.

I need sleep. I am exhausted. The doctor gave me medicine that prevents me from sleeping as a side effect. I haven't slept much in weeks. I think I'm dying...

Waite till the gremlins come to eat your toes, then you know sleep deprivation is killing you.

Or the gremlins.

[Tonus]

Waite till the gremlins come to eat your toes, then you know sleep deprivation is killing you.

Or the gremlins.
I'd much rather that sleep deprivation was killing the gremlins. They'd deserve it, the filthy little buggers.

[Ythogtha]

I'd much rather that sleep deprivation was killing the gremlins. They'd deserve it, the filthy little buggers.

Shhhhh, they can hear you...

OT:

Yep, first some dipshit hits my car at the movie theater and drives away, now my neighbors kids were caught whacking it with baseball bats! I know my car isn’t that pretty, but WTF people!? I didn’t know about it at the time, my wife told me the next day, probably because she knew I would have gone outside and stuck my foot up their collective asses, so she told me the next day. Little bastards. At least there wasn't any damage. Next time they’re outside I’m watching the car. If any of them do anything, I’m taking some pictures of them smacking my car and then pictures of any damage they cause. We’ll see how funny everything is when their parents are forking over a nice chunk of cash to get the dents out of my car.

I swear to god I’m installing a flame thrower system in the undercarriage. Anyone touches the car and they’re toast. Let’s see how funny it is to smack my car with baseball bats when you’re sitting in the burn ward at the local hospital.

[S Carver Orne]

Ball-level taser. Remember that? Bet you wish you hadn't laughed so hard now!

[Ythogtha]

Ball-level taser. Remember that? Bet you wish you hadn't laughed so hard now!

Yeah, but their kids. Their ball-level is much lower, it would just strike them in the chest.

Hmmmmm...:glare:

[Dr. L]

Grrr... might have to wait to hear about my financial information until after my college classes start, and that's even if I'll get it. I scored "Genius" on their stupid compass test, so they need to read the damned information faster. I swear, one little pin number malfunction, and all procrastinate hell breaks loose.

[Ythogtha]

Tried to get some sleep early, so I could get up at a decent time and clean the house, but nooooooooo, the fuck’n dog had to be an idiot and bark at the rain! Normally I would have thrown something at an annoying animal, or thrown it at something, or put it in a pillow case and threw it out the window (I live in a 3rd story apartment, so it’s a long way down), but my wife loves that ugly dog like it’s her child. And trust me, it’s ugly. It looks like Benji fucked a pug. So I can’t just go all apeshit on it.

Damn dog.

[Grunthos]

Dogs, whatever their good qualities, are at the base of it all idiots. After all, they are the only species that volunteered to be domesticated.

[S Carver Orne]

I am tired. I have been ridiculously, unnaturally tired at certain points of the day for the last few days and it is extremely inconveniencing.

[Grunthos]

Sanding paint sucks donkey balls.

[Shady]

People who dump kittens they don't want to take care of anymore.

Story: (have I already told this? I don't remember so I'm going to tell it anyway)
So yeah, we go to the house in Florida and we're having a great time and Mr. Asshole and myself are going to the liquor store or something, I don't remember. We get in the car and I back out of the driveway onto the road, and Mr. Asshole passenger exclaims "Wait! Don't run over the kitten!"

Me, in my head: "WTF? Kitten?"
Me, out loud: "WTF? What kitten?"
Mr. Asshole: "The one right there in the road! Stop!!"

I stop, look out the passenger window right by the car, and there is the teeniest, tiniest kitten doing circles wanting to get away from the big, bad SUV but she doesn't want to get off the road into the grass, and she doesn't want to get closer to the huge tire staring her down, so she's doing these little circles by the edge of the road.

I honk my horn and one of the people we are with comes outside. I yell out the car window for them to come get the kitty out of the road. Well, she walks over, picks up the cat, and carries it towards the house!!! ANd I am screaming in my head: "Not towards the house you idiot!!! We can't keep a cat there!!!"

Wirk walks outside and down the steps with this...look...on his face like "oh no, not another kitten. Now we have to keep it." and I'm thinking I have got to get out of here and get booze quickly.

So we go to the liquor store and buy ample booze and go back to the house. By the time we get back there all the kids are enamored, everyone is wanting to pet the little cute kitty and Wirk is glaring at me like I just messed on the floor. You know the look, head all cocked sideways and forward at the same time, eyebrows raised in a questioning yet disapproving manner. You know the look. It's the one your parents used to give you when you'd lie to them about something and they knew you were lying, and they would ask "are you sure" you didn't do whatever it was you were in trouble for? Of course, I responded with the "talk to both hands, because I've washed them of this entire situation" gesture while shaking my head and moving quickly inside the house to avoid said kitty.

A few minutes later, here comes Wirk with that concerned look. He says, "Shady. We can't have another cat." And I tell him I don't care, whatever. Not my cat, not my problem. Let it go, give it to a neighbor, whatever. I'm not involved. Then he says "you know whe have to keep it now, right?" And I'm all, "I don't care. Whatever you want to do but it can't stay here."

Yeah, it stays there. It is teeny and all bones. Someone just dumped it on our street to get rid of it because they knew someone would take care of it, or it would die, or something and it wouldn't be their problem anymore because they can't be responsible enough to get their own damn cat fixed! Really pisses me off.

Oh, but that's not the end of it. The next day we take it to the pound because Wirk will not being any cat home unless it's tested for feline leukemia. We already have 3 cats, we are not infecting them, and we are not watching a cat die from it because it's awful. We look up the local humane society, and are shocked and delighted that there is one in a small town with a population of 3K. We take it, give them money to test it, and let them keep it for the rest of the week until we are ready to go home.

The day we are leaving we go by there and fill out adoption papers and pay the adoption fee (even though we found it, it's the right thing to do since they get so little funding) and we couldn't get a spay discount because we live in AL and they work with a vet in FL. No biggie, right?

Well, we were allowed to go in the room where they keep all the other cats and kitties when they got the little cat out for us, and while Wirk did all the paperwork and stuff I stayed in there looking around and playing with cats and kittens. Then I spot it. Maine Coon kitten. omgs....we have to have another cat. How can I tell Wirk? What do I do? I have to have it!!!

I go back to the front desk and tell him he has got to come see this Maine Coon kitten. He's very opposed because he doesn't want to get attached to another cat, and he says I am too young to be an old cat lady. FIVE cats, he keeps repeating. I can only shrug. I asked him to trade in the kitty we found but that was a no-go.

Then the lady who worked there said we could carry two kittens in our cat carrier (that we bought at a Wal-Mart when we went to Wakulla Springs). Wirk is adamant. No. I tell him he just needs to see it. It is a real Maine Coon. People pay hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars for these, and here's one basically for free! He finally comes and looks at it and plays with it. It's very smart, and very playful. He comes back out...still no. Then the lady says "I'll wave the adoption fee...."

That did it. We went back down the following weekend (which was last weekend) and went by there and paid for the leukemia test and for him to be neutered. We couldn't keep him or take him home over the weekend, so my sister (who stayed at the beach all week this past week) is bringing him home when she comes home tomorrow.


Moral of the story is: Assholes who can't take care of their own cats make it everyone else's problem, and now I have way too many cats!!! Fuckers!

EDIT: Oh, and Mr. Asshole who was in the car with me is not called Mr. Asshole because he spotted the kitten. It's because he got drunk and showed his ass and we had to kick him out of the house and call the cops on him and have him removed to a hotel room somewhere. That's my other rant.

[Edmaster]

Sanding paint sucks donkey balls.

FFFFFUUUUU.

I had to do that yesterday for my living room, only it was paint AND spackling.

D:<

Not fun.

Also, lol shady is a cat lady.

[Grunthos]

It's almost 10 o'clock, it's getting hot outside, and I get to spend the day working on my brakes. In the sun.

And I drew the line at 3 cats.

[S Carver Orne]

My wonderful, beautiful, sweet, loving wife had to go to a church function and then work all day today. Which left me doing all the housework, with a busted back. I more or less finished now, and have a date with hot one called Vicodin.

[Tonus]

Let me tell you a little story about shit-tastic tech support.

The company I work for moved across town back in 2001. We had a phone system from [Company A] that ran on [System A]. When we moved, we kept [Company A] and upgraded to [System B] while keeping most of our equipment, which [Company A] said was no problem.

Ever since then, our tech support calls go as follows:

US: We need tech support on our [System B].
TECH: Okay, no problem! Err, wait... you have [System A] equipment.
US: Yeah, we upgraded to [System B] and kept the old equipment.
TECH: There's no way you're using [System B] with that equipment. If we send out a tech and he repairs equipment linked to [System B] you're okay, but if the problem is with anything related to [System A], we'll have to charge you [A Shitload of Money].
US: We no longer have [System A], so that's not a problem.
TECH: Well, just to be sure, I'll transfer you to our account admin and you can verify coverage, okay?
US: Sure.

ACCT: Hi! You're verifying coverage?
US: Yeah.
ACCT: Well our records show you're using [System B] and any work is fully covered under warranty!
US: Great, what about [System A]?
ACCT: You don't have [System A] and therefore it's not an issue.
US: yay! thanks!
ACCT: You're welcome! I'll send you back to tech support!
US: uh oh...

TECH: Well, it's just that you have this equipment, and that's definitely from [System A].
US: Yeah, we went through that, accounting said we're covered.
TECH: Okay, I'll arrange for a service call, but if he has to fix [System A], he'll have to charge an hourly rate.
US: Not a problem, we're covered!

And of course, the tech comes out, fixes the problem... and bills us thousands of dollars (and no, that's not an exaggeration) for fixing [System A], which isn't under warranty because we no longer have [System A]. At this point we spend the next several days explaining to [Company A] that he actually fixed [System B]. [Company A] eventually realizes its mistake and waives any fees because we have coverage.

Yesterday we received a replacement console for our front desk, and the console only works with... you got it... [System A]. Anticipating another round of [see above], I call and explain the issue, and the tech support person actually replies "looks like our records are screwed up." WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. She transfers me to an account specialist who assures me that he'll do everything he can to clear this up in a manner that is "as painless as possible." This is his way of saying "we're going to charge you for fixing our fuck-up, but we'll act as if we're doing you a favor, k?"

Later I get a call from a rep for the company that actually manages our maintenance contract, as a partner to [Company A]. I explain the problem to her and she replies "so their records are screwed up, then." I explain the further problem-- that they want to charge us to fix their screw up. She replies "oh, I'm sure they do. We can straighten it out without charging you, just give me a few days to get a list of equipment from them."

omg, someone with a clue. Granted, she wants to renew our service contract, so she has some incentive to go the extra mile. Then again, [Company A] should have a similar incentive since we pay them a fucking monthly fee for phone service and shitty tech support. Bleh, I have a killer migraine now, thanks to these morons.

[Grunthos]

You do realize that the list of equipment that the service contract people will be getting from [Company A] will, because of their screwed up records, be all about [System A], right?

[Tonus]

I'm definitely not expecting them to get it right, that's for sure.

[S Carver Orne]

I am starting to hate mowing the lawn, not because I am lazy, but because every time I do I get stung by wasps. I know they get riled up by me mowing by their home in the street sign, but I swear sometimes I have some sort of "sting the fuck out of me" pheromone they're picking up on.

[Shady]

http://www.killsbugsdead.com/i/product_rwah.jpg

[Tonus]

http://www.killsbugsdead.com/i/product_rwah.jpg
Or better yet... (http://www.candyfavorites.com/Chocolate-Dipped-Insects-pr-513.html)

[S Carver Orne]

http://www.killsbugsdead.com/i/product_rwah.jpg

Yeah, I need to do that. It just irritates me that I have to go spend my money on something that is city property.

[Tonus]

Well, this is promising-- [Company A] has agreed to send a technician to get a complete inventory of our system in order to clear up their records, which the guy on the phone admitted was "a jumble."

[Grunthos]

Yeah, I need to do that. It just irritates me that I have to go spend my money on something that is city property.

Well, why let the city have all the fun of spending your money on city property??

[Ythogtha]

Yeah, I need to do that. It just irritates me that I have to go spend my money on something that is city property.

It's a can of Raid you cheap bastard :D

Why is it that my wife get's pulled over by a cop when her tail light is blown out, but I see other assholes driving around in half a fuck'n car or using a deer spotter light when driving down the road because their car has NO lights? I mean I understand the whole "Miss, do you know your tail light is blown out?" warning, but what about the guy with half a fucking car!? "Um, sir, where the hell is the rest of your vehicle?"

[Shady]

Or better yet... (http://www.candyfavorites.com/Chocolate-Dipped-Insects-pr-513.html)

Those things are almost $2 a bug! I'll happily sell them all the insects in my yard for a buck each. I'd be filthy stinkin rich.

[Ythogtha]

Those things are almost $2 a bug! I'll happily sell them all the insects in my yard for a buck each. I'd be filthy stinkin rich.

I ate deep fried grasshoppers before. Not bad. They were breaded and stuck on these sticks, like a corndog. It’s hard to describe the taste, kind of like… Gristle.

OT:

My wife called to order pizza for dinner. Neither one of else felt like cooking or going out, so pizza sounded good. She called and the dude on the other end of the phone complained that we didn’t “order enough” and he couldn’t believe we wanted someone to deliver two pizzas. Hell, one pizza is $16.05 after tax, and two isn’t enough!? What the hell, that’s your job dipshit, you’re a pizza place. You make the pizza, sell the pizza and deliver the pizza, that’s what you do.

The delivery guy was the same idiot on the phone, so after I paid I asked for change, which he then replied “Change?” and I said “Yeah, the change.” After he gave me the change I informed him that douchebags don’t get tips and I’d be ordering my pizza from somewhere else.

[Dr. L]

Quit drinking all my pop, damnit!

[S Carver Orne]

Quit drinking all my poop, damnit!

:lol:

[Dr. L]

Well, if that had been the case, some s'plainin' would've needed to be done.

[Agent Cay]

Yeah, I need to do that. It just irritates me that I have to go spend my money on something that is city property.

Reminds me of my mom and her recent attempt to expand her garden. A little bit of info beforehand: our front yard is like any other front yard, except for two patches of gardening soil, both on separate islands in the sea of grass. One of them was kept in reasonably good condition, and a fair amount of flora are growing there at a fairly steady pace. It's happy. It's nice. It's orderly.

Then we have the other section.

This area has been completely neglected ever since we first bought the house. This is the Mos Eisley spaceport opposite our fair city. This wretched hive of scum and villainy has not only given rise to a wild selection of plants we didn't know grew in the region, but also has allowed ivy to snake up the sides of the trees there and choke the life out of them. Not just any trees, mind you- I mean sixty-foot evergreens. Walking through the brush in this fetid jungle is like journeying to the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel- no one in living memory has ever succeeded. It's given a wide girth any time we mow the front yard. I've seen things in there you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. As a cherry on the top, it's filled with every sort of terrible rash-giving weed you can imagine- poison ivy, oak, sumac, man-eating flytraps, what have you.

So of course my mom, who recently has procured a green thumb and is trying to spruce the place up a bit, has been eye-ing this patch with disdain, and one day calls a favor on a Mexican she knows from whichever one of the myriad of contacts she has at her office ( I swear, she could find a guy who knows a guy who knows a direct line with God) she points at this thicket of evil, and says, "Git 'er done."

At first, this sturdy Mexican fellow puts up a decent fight against what most would consider a futile effort. The thicket is slowly, slooooowwwwly being pulled down. Amidst a thousand contractings of itchy red skin, he has simply gritted his teeth, pulled his work gloves farther up his arms, and plowed right back in. It's a credit to his people and his kind, his patience and endurance.

The thicket's not done yet, though. It's final line of defense comes forth, to attempt to thwart this pesky attack once and for all.

Wasps. Lots of wasps.

These aren't just your standard wasps, though. In this forest of sin, wasps don't do anything so banal as build a hive on a tree-side, or a branch. They build it into the GROUND, turning it from a hive into a base of operations. That's right. Mother Nature is a real hardass if she wants to be, and whatever harsh forces at work in that little brush have demanded evolution at paces far outstripping modern man's expectations. Wasps and ants, in an attempt to cover up weaknesses in their original, vulnerable forms, have merged together in a mutated alliance, to create some thing with the strength, endurance, and building capacity of ants, and the versatility, aerial prowess, and stinging capacity of wasps, yet exponentially superior to both. Today, the thicket. Tomorrow, the house.

This is now more than just a job for our hapless Mexican. It's a battleground.

The first strike goes to the waspants, as they send him running with poison from whatever eldritch hell you can imagine. He has to sit down and have a couple of psych evaluations before continuing, but he continues, mostly undaunted. He gets a can of some standard bug killer from a store, and sprays it on there. Completely ineffectual. It's like rain. He tries several more brands, each of them as worthless as the last. These bastards apparently have more immunities than we realize. He decides, "Fuck it", and dumps a can of gasoline on their black-and-yellow striped asses. Still no effect. Their derisive laughter plays in his mind, like a thousand jabs at his Hispanic dignity.

I don't know what he sprayed on there next. I don't think I'll ever want to know. I didn't realize how bad it was until NASA called and asked if they could test planetary land-rovers there. The land is now completely barren, a brown husk, razed to oblivion. The wasps are gone, as is everything else, but I have doubts as to whether my mom will be able to make anything grow again on that defiled ground. It has a memory. It will not forget this insult. Its curse shall mar our lawn for all eternity, never forgiving the drastic measures we went to to "git 'er done."

And the only thing I can think of is what the waspants out pollinating will say when they return to what was once their home. "Goddamnit, Barry! We left you with the fort for two fucking days as we went pollinating, what the fuck did you do?!"

I'd hate to be the waspant that has to take the rap for that.

[Dr. L]

Thanks a lot, person, for telling us the book is too 'advanced' for the class level, then giving us a 100-question test that covers everything in the book and has nothing to do with what we learned in class.

Glad this damned thing is take-home. Already spent a half an hour on four of them.

[Diniden]

So I'm the programmer in our group. Our alpha is due within two days. Our project is to be compiled on the XBOX. I don't own an XBOX. I ask the manager to loan me one. He says he is using it for "testing purposes". What is he testing when I'm the only one with the ability to compile the game??? I am forced to buy an XBOX. I am also sick and have been working 10am to 4am for the past 4 days.

*face slams into a 2 inch thick metal plate in hopes to make it clearer what his manager was thinking*

[Grunthos]

Work. It simply has to go.

[S Carver Orne]

I have been sick for almost a week. I only get sick once every year or two, but when I do it's damned persistent.

[Dr. L]

The guy thinks I don't notice his little potshots. Never concealing his thoughts, just cleverly side-stepping them.

I will not dignify them with a response. In fact, I probably won't respond to him period over time.

[Little Bug]

Poor puppy. Someone put him in the back of their truck and went back inside, now he is crying to get out. It angers as much as it saddens me.

[Dr. L]

I do hate getting my games back covered in scratches. I lent it to my girlmate, and had to buy her a new one because a previous friend scratched the disc to hell and back =/. That was a damn good game too.

[S Carver Orne]

I will no longer lend games. To anyone. Ever.

[Dr. L]

I will no longer lend games. To anyone. Ever.

Agreed.

Seriously, I took one look at the disc scratches and wanted to slap the dude responsible with the case. "How the hell did this get so many scratches? You're Generation Y, learn how to handle a CD."

Unfortunately, I had lent him two of my games. Super Smash Bros. Melee was lost forever, and Zelda was barely playable until it just stopped working.

[Grunthos]

Have you tried any of the home disk resurfacing tools? Might save your treasures!

[CyberKing]

I used some kind of cloth/liquid combo thing from F.Y.E, it did okay with the bigger scratches and made my games playable again.

[Grunthos]

There are a few that work; SkipDR has a pretty strong following, too.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=skip+dr&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=6469680265480951776&ei=DTyyTJ7oOY-usAPK2YyeDA&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CEcQ8wIwAg#

I've never had to use any, thus far.

[Dr. L]

It worked! Excellent. Thank you

[Tonus]

I've never had to use any, thus far.
Me either. I prefer to use a product called No, You Can't Borrow My Fucking Games. I have CDs and DVDs that are probably 15+ years old around here, and even through constant use do not have many scratches, if any. I only ever purchased "pre-owned" games once, and after seeing how scratched up they were, decided I'd never to that again. That experience also showed me that some people are freaking animals when it comes to caring for something as easy to care for as a CD/DVD.

[Aaron]

Banned on this one other fourm for cursing in binary. IN BINARY. Lame sauce.

[Dr. L]

No offense ol' chum, but if I had been clever enough to catch on as a mod, I would have done the same =P

[CyberKing]

How the fuck do you even curse in binary?

[Aaron]

No offense ol' chum, but if I had been clever enough to catch on as a mod, I would have done the same =P
Its like cursing in Chinese. All the word filter does is filter the actual characters. If I say f*** you. you still process the profanity. Which defeats the purpose. but in my situation, you'd have to go out your way to translate it.

[Tonus]

That was pretty funny. That's the risk you run when you do something clever-- there's the chance that someone will find a way to be even more clever. Not that it took any great stroke of genius to decide to ban you, but it was still pretty funny.

[Grunthos]

Not that it took any great stroke of genius to decide to ban you, but it was still pretty funny.

I thought so.

I considered posting his ban msg in octal, but I was afraid he'd never understand what it said.

Just be thankful I didn't enter your ban duration in binary, dude; you'd be gone for 11 days instead of just the three.

:cookieomnomnom:

[Dr. L]

I have an open mind to a certain degree, but sometimes there are things that just should not be laughed at. I know this is the internet, I've been here long enough to know better, but some things really are not funny. Agent Orange and radiation deformations fit somewhere in there.

[Little Bug]

Why did I have to stop checking in on the forums...so many new post!


Oh and a mass hi to all the UGOPlayer refugees.

[Dr. L]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101026/ap_on_sc/eu_britain_stag

I agree with the last fellow. If they absolutely had to shoot one of the largest deer in the kingdom, they should have waited until it was done mating =/ . It had good genes to spread around.

And MSN is being ridiculous >=/

[Tonus]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/constructive.png

[Tonus]

How the fuck is it that it takes at least 12 weeks for a bone the size of a fucking almond (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaphoid_bone) to heal? Really?

[MFD]

I have beef with being sick for all but one week of this semester. Makes it very hard to be a functioning member of society.

[CyberKing]

I'm in the process of beating the shit out of my old cement porch because half of it fell apart the other day, and I find that it's mainly made of cinder blocks filled with dirt. Fucking Canadians.

[MFD]

Shantyporch

[Aaron]

Hard drive crashed

only a week after I installed 7 ;_;

[Dr. L]

I know it's a given, and I enjoy college very much, but 257 dollars for two books I'll only use for eight weeks peeves me off >:/. I know there are far pricier books out there, but it still peeves me off >:/. I know I should consider myself lucky I wasn't getting the pricier books yet, but it still peeves me off >:/

[MFD]

Dr. L is peeved.

[Dr. L]

And you're MiFfeD.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest :unsmith:

[MFD]

,,,,,wow

[Dr. L]

That's how I tend to read it, and I was waiting for a context-appropriate situation to say so :p

[MFD]

No amount of context can make that OK in any capacity.

[Dr. L]

Pun was that bad, huh?

[MFD]

It wasn't even a pun it was adding letters to things!

Dude that was retarded. It's just totally Lame.

[Dr. L]

Oh, it was only three more letters.

The initials for my High School was "PHS" which I pronounced as "Pa-HiSs. Though that one was my dad's fault.

[MFD]

What happened to just pronouncing the letters?

[Dr. L]

Because that's far less fun.

[MFD]

So is the republican party the GAWP?

[Dr. L]

Huh, didn't think of that one. But that does sound more interesting. Nonetheless, in sane conversation I usually do just pronounce the letters.

[MFD]

NAACP

Naaaaah cuh puh

[S Carver Orne]

The initials for my High School was "PHS"

So was mine. But then they turned the Junior High School into a middle school, and changed that to PAMS instead of PMS, and the high school to PAHS. The 'A' being for Area. Or Anus. Or Assholes. I could go on like this for hours.

[CyberKing]

My high school was PHHS.

[Luger]

One town over the school is PMS

[Dr. L]

Mark Madoff seemingly hang himself due to innuendos and pressures related to what his father, Bernard Madoff, did. I remember the media coverage of Bernard Madoff's scheme. "Monst'rous!" "Despicable!" "Extraordinarily Evil!"

They profit from his misery at his son's death, happily associating his scandal with what happened. What Madoff did was wrong, and he deserved going to prison for what he did. But he's just a thug, and probably the lesser evil in a far grander scheme. It's kind of a kick in the gut to watch them tear into him about what happened to his son. The whole scandal was suspicious, and it smelled like a gigantic red herring. I can extend my condolences to him on this.

[Grunthos]

Thursdays.

Hate 'em.

[Dr. L]

Facebook is an annoying place to complain about someone. No one likes your doo doo.